some thoughts

Sometimes life takes my breath away. And its when I am least expecting it.

Summer session I is coming to an end, I have half finished my paper and most my my final script, so thats all good, I do that stuff at work, I am totally efficient. :D

I have class in about 15 mins.

I am going to Oregon this weekend for the day out time celebration that is monday. Going with Jacob, its going to be awesome, I can't wait. Finally I get to spend some time with that guy. I get to eat dinner his dad who is a physics professor at Stanford and stay there fridaynight and kickit up the coast the weekend. Its going to be a lot of fun, good times I am sure.
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Life is good. I rode my bike all the way up the hill to school today! Which is fairly impressive, not crazy fast or anything but I did it, and I felt good about it. Makes me feel good to exercise like that in the morning, through the whole day I feel like no matter what happens I can confront it, I have a lot more energy throughout the day when I start it out like that. Exercise and meditation in the mornings have changed my life.

I am staying fairly disciplined, but there are still some things that I fall to all the time, and I am getting kinda frustrated in myself. I mean cmon Wayne! Really what gets me is when I fall in brahmacharya, thats what hurts me the most.

In the area of my diet I feel like i have progressed the most. I couldn't even think of eating meat at this stage, I would probably get terribly sick not to mention how it would effect my energy. In the same aspect I don't eat cheese or eggs anymore, or chocolate or sweets or anything preprocessed. Every time I do it just makes me feel bad, it gives me stomach aches, also all the fruit and stuff I do eat is only organic (thankfully I get payed enough to eat all organic). And all this diet change has happened rather subtly, that is no one ever told me 'stop eating meat' 'don't eat sweets' and the like, but rather naturally I just stopped having a desire for these types of food. As my diet became more nutrious and high in energy I slowly and kind of unconsciously gave up all that other stuff. Really it hit me when my mom came home and we were in the grocery store and I was like "oh I don't eat that, I don't eat that." and she was like "oh your Vegan?" and I was like "hmm I guess I am hu?" I don't know I just eat what I know to be best inside me :).

One of my housemates and his friend got some "Really good LSD" the other night and when I came home they were all passed out in the living room, I could feel that they had some experiences just by looking at them, heck before I came into the house I knew something was up. It was actually kinda funny to see the fear inside them, I laughed out loud as I saw them sleeping in the living room because I could -feel- their ego trying to grapple with what had happened, I could seriously feel the tension, though I though I did not know exactly what caused it till later when he offered my other housemate some. To me he just smiled and kinda looked away real fast, as I smiled back, he looked rather confused and took a double take of me eating my cereal. haha, it was fairly funny.

I guess its obvious that I have stopped doing drugs, I think it has been about 7 months now since I drank and who knows how long since I smoked. I think we all go through that stage in our life, and some of us stay in it awhile while some others get out real fast, I was in there for a good 3-5 years or so. And every minute I would not take back, because every minute I was learning something. I don't regard that time of my life as a "bad" time. No, not at all, I learned so much during that time, I grew so strong afterwards that I could never think of that time as anything more than another perfect piece to my life, as all my life is.

Its all good. Just as I hold no contempt for people who eat meat I hold no contempt for people who do drugs. We are all on our paths and everyone is equal in my eyes. Seriously just because one person does something and someone else does not does not make anyone better or worse than anyone else, it just makes us different, and isn't that the greatest thing about life? That we are all different? I love it, its so refreshing to see a collage of people on all sorts of path, no matter where I go, its a great thing.

It shows me just how amazing life is, it really is amazing. Life is, great.!

I am off to philosophy class,

With metta,
Wayne